Does hanging a medical license on your wall mean you know your patients?

I have never been the sympathetic mother when it comes to my kids illnesses. Pretty much if you can walk, talk long enough to tell me you are sick and can't go to school, you can go to school. I need some real symptoms fever, major regurgetation, green goop pouring from somewhere, big signs not just an upset stomach or sniffel. Ain't going to fly with me....

My son has been complaining for about the last week that he feels dizzy and nauseous, so being true to form I say can you walk, he says yes and I say get on your bike and get to school. As a side note I just want to add that he is notorius for faking illness to get out of school. So anyways, today he was moaning and groaning the same complaint and was doing a really good job with the puppy dog I feel like poo poo look and asking if I could make an appointment for him to see the doctor. Needless to say he won the battle as I needed to get to work. My departing words to him "you better hope the doctor finds something wrong with you or I am leaving you there" and on with my day I went.

My thought was to make an appointment for him on Friday when his Dad was off so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I know that sounds terrible but in his 14½ years of life his Dad has NEVER I repeat NEVER taken him to the doctor so I felt it was time. So I call Kaiser to make an appointment and of course "due to the symptoms" I have to speak to the advice nurse. After being on hold through two of her coffee breaks I finally get to speak to her. I again I go thru the symptoms, she asks me some questions, I say I don't know and she says we should probably see him and tells me they have an appt this afternoon. Well that wasn't my plan so I say do you have anything on Friday? Could of heard a pin drop....total silence...is anyone there? "I don't think this should wait til Friday it could be serious" really? he's breathing? I explained to her the boy who cried wolf story but in the end she guilted me into taking the appt. In the back of my head an appendisitis story was haunting me....somewhere out there I have a friend who is laughing right now, inside story.

Off to Kaiser we go. Arrive promptly at 1:45; didn't have to wait too long to be seen I was feeling good about this appointment. No sweat I will be back at work by 3:00. After the normal nurse questions and blood pressure, weigh-in etc. the doctor comes in. (On a side note: My son is 5'9" and wieghs 212 pounds, can you say holy-crap?) Doc asks some questions looks in his eyes, ears, nose etc. only to find................NOTHING!!! My blood is boiling, the wolf boy has struck again, I want to scream. Then the doctor decides, just to be sure lets do a sinus x-ray. Great...so much for being back by 3:00. Wolf boy and I head off to x-ray and what do we have there? A half an hour wait. Lovely...

X-ray done we head back to the docs office to look at the x-ray. What do we find? Just for fun, lets say it together NOTHING!!! and I have just wasted another 45 minutes. Then the doctor asks wolf boy to leave the room for a minute. Hmmm.....what's this about? He starts out with "I don't know your son" (remember that line) and then begins to ask me a bunch of questions. "Has there been any trauma in his life" "Does he have problems at school" and many more along those lines me all the while me answering nothing more than any other teenage boy his age. He then begins to tell me that from his assessment, wolf boy seems to have some social issues, he seems to have a low self-esteem...blah...blah...blah....my man hearing went on at that time. He then asks me if I have ever heard of Asbergers Disease? Oh sure we talk about that every day at work...are you for real? Do I look like I read a medical journal for fun. Moving right along he proceeds to tell me the that Asbergers Disease is a form of autism where children have a problem with social interaction. He asks me to please look it up online and see if any other symptoms apply and call so we can discuss. WOW that was a big word and this is a joke right?

Okay so let's go back to the comment the doctor said that I asked you to remember "I DON'T KNOW YOUR SON" How can he possibly in 10 minutes diagnose such a thing? I don't have a medical license but did it maybe occur to him that he is at that awkward age where things are changing, hormones are raging etc? Why can't that just be that diagnosis? He's a normal teenager going through an awkward time and how do I say this? Because I unlike him I KNOW my son. I was so infuriated when I left there at 4:30, let's count them almost 1-2-3 hours later. Can you say ANNOYING!!!

So here I sit blogging away while WOLF BOY, is busily playing video games, no symptoms in site. Go figure....another $25 and 3 hours down the drain.....oh well tomorrow is another day. Until then....pleasant dreams.