Can I have a do-over?

Do you ever get to the end of your weekend and wish you could have a “do-over”?
I had such great intentions, Jazzercise Saturday morning, chores around the house, nice home cooked meal for Sean and Cooper, yoga on Sunday morning and the Moscow Circus on Sunday afternoon. I managed to accomplish the last item on the list.

Saturday morning Jazzercise got beat out by Friday night poker the drifted into the wee hours of Saturday morning. Chores? Well, I just didn’t feel like it, not like they are going anywhere. As for the home cooked meal….I cooked it at home. Bockwurst and sauerkraut, what can I say I had a craving.

On to Sunday yoga. EVERY morning, without fail I wake up by 6:00, 7:00 at the latest so why set an alarm clock? Yoga’s at 8:30, I’ll wake up in plenty of time. Think you know where I am going with this. Yep that’s right the eyes opened at 8:15. So much for that. Guess it wasn’t meant to be.

The weekend success story was a trip to Yountville with my son to see the Moscow Circus. An afternoon of acrobatics, juggling, clowns and trapeze acts. All of which were nothing short of amazing. How do they do that? and how many times to they fall on their heads before they get it right? As I sat there surrounded by children and senior citizens watching the couple on the trapeze bending in ways that shouldn’t be possible, my mind couldn’t help but think….they must have one heck of an interesting sex life. Think about it, the normal “sex life” or should I say normal to me, holds a few select positions of fun, theirs? Oh my, the possibilities are endless.

The day ended with a dinner at the Red Hen in Napa. If you have never been there I highly recommend it. Some of the best Mexican food I have ever had.

Needless to say my quest to get in shape took a sabbatical this weekend….tomorrow’s another day.

I will “never stop trying”….tootles

Farewell Stay Puff Marshmallow Man...

The other day I wrote about my never ending quest to get in shape and how it led me the gates of hell, sneakily disguised as a yoga studio. Well today I found the yellow brick road that is going to lead me on my path to my goal and put this Stay Puff Marshmallow Man body of mine back in the bag where it belongs.

After our brush with death on Tuesday, my workout buddy and I decided to try a different path and ventured into the world of music and dance and took a Jazzercise class. The skies opened up, the harps played; I had found the Holy Grail. As we shimmied, shook and danced our way to a sweat we glanced at each other knowingly; this was it and without a thought our arms rose and slapped a high five. YES, we were on our way.

When the class was over I knew I had unequivocally worked out every part of my body and felt great about it. Tomorrow I have a feeling I am going to be moaning and groaning with every move, but tonite I will savor the moment.

No words needed to be spoken between me and my workout buddy; we looked at each other and just knew. The wallet a came out, the commitment was made and Jazzercise it is.

Extra bonus: My girlfriend who I had lost touch with teaches the class three days a week so not only do I get a good workout I get to see her too…that my friends is MONEY as Guy Fieri would say.

It was a good day. Until next time…..

Does hanging a medical license on your wall mean you know your patients?

I have never been the sympathetic mother when it comes to my kids illnesses. Pretty much if you can walk, talk long enough to tell me you are sick and can't go to school, you can go to school. I need some real symptoms fever, major regurgetation, green goop pouring from somewhere, big signs not just an upset stomach or sniffel. Ain't going to fly with me....

My son has been complaining for about the last week that he feels dizzy and nauseous, so being true to form I say can you walk, he says yes and I say get on your bike and get to school. As a side note I just want to add that he is notorius for faking illness to get out of school. So anyways, today he was moaning and groaning the same complaint and was doing a really good job with the puppy dog I feel like poo poo look and asking if I could make an appointment for him to see the doctor. Needless to say he won the battle as I needed to get to work. My departing words to him "you better hope the doctor finds something wrong with you or I am leaving you there" and on with my day I went.

My thought was to make an appointment for him on Friday when his Dad was off so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I know that sounds terrible but in his 14½ years of life his Dad has NEVER I repeat NEVER taken him to the doctor so I felt it was time. So I call Kaiser to make an appointment and of course "due to the symptoms" I have to speak to the advice nurse. After being on hold through two of her coffee breaks I finally get to speak to her. I again I go thru the symptoms, she asks me some questions, I say I don't know and she says we should probably see him and tells me they have an appt this afternoon. Well that wasn't my plan so I say do you have anything on Friday? Could of heard a pin drop....total silence...is anyone there? "I don't think this should wait til Friday it could be serious" really? he's breathing? I explained to her the boy who cried wolf story but in the end she guilted me into taking the appt. In the back of my head an appendisitis story was haunting me....somewhere out there I have a friend who is laughing right now, inside story.

Off to Kaiser we go. Arrive promptly at 1:45; didn't have to wait too long to be seen I was feeling good about this appointment. No sweat I will be back at work by 3:00. After the normal nurse questions and blood pressure, weigh-in etc. the doctor comes in. (On a side note: My son is 5'9" and wieghs 212 pounds, can you say holy-crap?) Doc asks some questions looks in his eyes, ears, nose etc. only to find................NOTHING!!! My blood is boiling, the wolf boy has struck again, I want to scream. Then the doctor decides, just to be sure lets do a sinus x-ray. Great...so much for being back by 3:00. Wolf boy and I head off to x-ray and what do we have there? A half an hour wait. Lovely...

X-ray done we head back to the docs office to look at the x-ray. What do we find? Just for fun, lets say it together NOTHING!!! and I have just wasted another 45 minutes. Then the doctor asks wolf boy to leave the room for a minute. Hmmm.....what's this about? He starts out with "I don't know your son" (remember that line) and then begins to ask me a bunch of questions. "Has there been any trauma in his life" "Does he have problems at school" and many more along those lines me all the while me answering nothing more than any other teenage boy his age. He then begins to tell me that from his assessment, wolf boy seems to have some social issues, he seems to have a low self-esteem...blah...blah...blah....my man hearing went on at that time. He then asks me if I have ever heard of Asbergers Disease? Oh sure we talk about that every day at work...are you for real? Do I look like I read a medical journal for fun. Moving right along he proceeds to tell me the that Asbergers Disease is a form of autism where children have a problem with social interaction. He asks me to please look it up online and see if any other symptoms apply and call so we can discuss. WOW that was a big word and this is a joke right?

Okay so let's go back to the comment the doctor said that I asked you to remember "I DON'T KNOW YOUR SON" How can he possibly in 10 minutes diagnose such a thing? I don't have a medical license but did it maybe occur to him that he is at that awkward age where things are changing, hormones are raging etc? Why can't that just be that diagnosis? He's a normal teenager going through an awkward time and how do I say this? Because I unlike him I KNOW my son. I was so infuriated when I left there at 4:30, let's count them almost 1-2-3 hours later. Can you say ANNOYING!!!

So here I sit blogging away while WOLF BOY, is busily playing video games, no symptoms in site. Go figure....another $25 and 3 hours down the drain.....oh well tomorrow is another day. Until then....pleasant dreams.

What exactly is "Hot Yoga"?

Before today I could not of answered that question, however, believe me when I say I wish I would have asked alot more people that question before trying it out for myself.

Today, my never ending attempt to get in shape, led me to "hot yoga". Why you ask? I had tried a little WII yoga and it was fun, taking pose on the board with this pleasant lady in the background reminding me to stay balanced. After a couple sessios her incouragement gave me this false confidence that I was ready to move on to the real thing. Ahh ya....

I would have settled for a plain simple "yoga" class, but then my friend, at least I thought she was my friend, told me about her experience with "hot yoga" and how much she loved it so, being the falsely confident WII Yogi, I thought sure why not.

Together, we found a class that was conveniently located for both of us, made a quick trip to Target to buy and mat, set a date and the ball was rolling.

So here we are the big day....the brochure said bring two towels and water and I did. Two towels to wipe my brow and one bottle Costco water. Works for me at the gym why would this be any different? So we arrived at Berkram Yoga 101. Still feeling confident I pranced in with my bottle of water, cool new mat and two towels about the size of a kitchen towel. I should of known in the first five minutes it was time to terminate the mission. Everyone was dressed in barely more than a bathing suit (I had on long yoga pants and a tank top), they not only had two towels they had two beach towels and they had 3 plus bottles of water that were frozen. Did I mention it was 100 degrees in the room? No I am not exagerating. The instructor of course immediately picked out the "newbies" right off he bat and handed us more towels. My confidence was rapidly going out the window as I listened to her explain that the next time (like right) I would definitley want to wear shorts and a short sports bra. HELLO!!! Look at me lady are you kidding. It's bad enough I am crammed in here so tight that when I bend over my butt cheeks are going to brush the forehead of my neighbor, I am pretty sure she is happy I am "covered" up.

And the lesson begins, breathe, breathe, breathe, relax, relax.....are you for real how can I breathe in a 100 degree room AND relax. It was really not going to happen, but I was trying. The sweat was dripping the breaths were breathing and it was not good. 30 minutes in I was hoping for an earthquake just so I could get the you know what out of there. Not only was I dripping sweat, my brain was boiling giving me a splitting headache. Oh and did I mention and I had the pleasure of having right in front of me the gluteous maximus of a 70 year old man in spandex shorts who I kid you not had sweat pouring off him. His big toe was like the bottom of a rain downspout in huge storm....nice. I know I was supposed to be centered on myself and not paying attention but at this point the only thing on my mind was living. I was sure I was going to die. I kept looking at my friend hoping she was going to throw in the towel so I could graciously support her and leave too, but NO she had to keep going. One pose after another I trudged on, taking much needed breaks on my back often watching the clock the whole time hoping and praying that would make it through without passing out.

Somehow I made it through to the end and walked outside to take a breath of fresh air. I can only compare this breath to what I imagine a new born baby feels when they take there first breath of real air. It was heavenly.....almost orgasmic.

As for my friend, she assured me that this was not the experience she had had at her "hot yoga". Lucky for her she had just as miserable a time as I. Had she not we might not be having this conversation.

As I sit here typing I can say whole heartedly "hot yoga" is not for me, but I will continue my pursuit to wellness through yoga and hopefully find a class outside my WII that works for me.

So to answer the question "What exactly is "Hot Yoga"? HELL pure HELL

Ta ta for now....